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Teach Your Dog to Say Please

Our world is full of things that our dogs want. They want to say hi to people, they want to say hi to dogs, they want to pee on that fire hydrant or pole, they want to go investigate that statue, they want to go sniff that hedge, they want to have a piece of your food, etc.


Often our dog's default way of showing us what they want is not a way that we like! They might pull or bark or lie down and refuse to move.


A helpful strategy is to teach your dog to ask for what they want in a way that you like and in a way that shows that they are in their thinking brain, not in a reactive state. This post uses Sit as an example but you can use any behaviour that you like!


A white and tan cattledog wearing a red and black harness sits on a blue and white striped rug beside a coffee table. She is looking at the camera.
Daisy showing off her sit so that I will put her leash on.

Take Me There

Black silhouettes on a white background. On the left is a sitting dog with an arrow pointing towards a person standing on the right.

  1. Your dog notices the thing they want

  2. Stop and ask your dog for your chosen behaviour (ex: sit)

  3. If your dog sits, mark (yes or good or oui) and step toward the thing they want

  4. If your dog does not sit, wait at least 3-5 seconds before repeating yourself

  5. If they cannot listen, they do not get to approach what they want

  6. If they start to pull or you worry that they are getting overwhelmed by big feelings, stop and ask again


If they are able to walk nicely without dragging you, you do not have to stop.


This game often looks like an inch-worm slowly inching closer to the thing that your dog wants.


Wait For It

Black silhouettes on a white background. On the left is a sitting dog. On the right is a standing person with an arrow pointing towards the dog.

  1. Your dog notices the thing that they want (usually a person)

  2. Stop and ask your dog for your chosen behaviour (ex: sit)

  3. If your dog sits, mark (yes or good or oui) and the thing can approach you

  4. If your dog cannot sit, wait at least 3-5 seconds before repeating yourself

  5. If your dog stays sitting while the thing is approaching, reward your dog with a bonus treat for their hard work

  6. If your dog cannot stay sitting, the thing stops moving and you can ask your dog for the chosen behaviour again

  7. If they cannot listen, the thing does not approach them


The bonus treats in step 5 are really helpful for dogs who are very excited.


This game often looks like "red light, green light".

If your dog sits, green light! The thing can approach.

if your dog does not sit, red light! The thing cannot approach.


A german shepherd mix sitting on the grass facing left with one ear turned towards the camera. She is wearing a red front-clip harness and a pink and orange collar.
Libby sitting and playing Notice & Report at the same time, in hopes that she'll get to greet a person she sees in the distance.

Practice Tips

  • Start off with something your dog is interested in but not overwhelmed by.

    • Suggestions for Take Me There: food bowl, a toy, a statue, places to sniff.

    • Suggestions for Wait For It: a family member who has been home for a while, an acquaintance who listens to directions well

  • Compensate your dog for the baby steps with treats.

    • For Take Me There, step forward and then reward your dog to reduce the slingshot effect.

    • For Wait For It, reward your dog if they can stay sitting while the thing approaches.

  • Use a clear cue when they do get to interact with the thing! I like "go see" or "go say hi".

    • For Take Me There, only use this cue when you are within leash range. Otherwise your dog will drag you to the thing. (This is the opposite of human kids, we often tell our kids "want to go say hi?" and then do the approach. But for most dogs if you say that at the start, they will launch themselves at the target of their desires.)

    • For Wait For It, if your dog does not want to greet the person that's OK! Do not force your dog to interact or let the person invade your dog's space.

  • You can also use Sit = Please in other contexts like to prevent jumping for their food bowl as you serve them, to prevent charging out the door, to prevent biting at the leash as you try to harness them. A strong sit is a great skill to have!


Two german shepherd dogs sitting on a snowy trail with tree trunks in the distance behind them. One is a dark sable sitting sideways but facing the camera. The other is a black and tan sitting facing the camera but looking slightly to the left.
Libby and Obi sitting on our trail walk for treats as part of their check-in before they get to continue running around off-leash.

I find that sit a lovely way to check if my dogs have collected their marbles. If they can't sit, chances are those marbles are scattered all over the place, and getting closer to what they want is not going to help them maintain their composure.


Does your dog get overwhelmed by their big feelings? We can help. Check out our services for excited dogs and reactive dogs in Ottawa, Ontario.

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